Wednesday, June 25, 2008

terms of employment



i have always and forever adored 't.erms of e.ndearment', esp. the scene when Shirley is pleading with the nurses for the 10pm pain meds ("It's past ten. My daughter is in pain. I don't understand why she has to have this pain. All she has to do is hold out until ten, and IT'S PAST TEN! My daughter is in pain, can't you understand that! GIVE MY DAUGHTER THE SHOT!" ). it's in the class of films i watch biyearly, and cry at all the same parts. i now have 2 sons and the last scene with her boys gets increasingly more difficult to watch. to contemplate that reality, well, no thanks.

i digress.
i have been mulling over the idea of a second job, per diem of course, preferably 16 to 20 hours a month. ideally, i'd just want to fill in to where i would be working a normal 40 hr week, since my present job albeit "full-time" isn't quite that. it isn't as easy to find per diem work, as i have been in med/surg under a year.

i drove out to p.arsippany yesterday to interview at a hospice company that i was introduced to through several of our patients. i have admitted several patients to in house hospice over the last few weeks. i routinely care for terminal patients, and feel an interest in pursuing this. i'm good at it. their needs are basic, and it clarifies a resolve in me to be the nurse i thought i would be when i was in school. what i am now, i feel, is a drug pusher, a waitress of opiates; managing the crazy and emptying the catheters. it doesn't feel like i do any good; i just make sure to keep them alive for shift change... ha ha, little medical humor. not funny? yeah, i know.

not sure what will happen, per usual. i just don't want to take anymore time away from the boys. at least with this, i tell them my availability. and i can work as much or as little as i want. say i want to work some evenings when dave is studying and the boys are sleeping, *poof*! done. sounds pretty decent... except when that means, i'm going out to do a pronouncement. geez. i won't be any fun at parties.


recent ones of the chillens...







Friday, June 20, 2008

fun times

well, it's been an age, hasn't it? i've gone through orientation and have now been on my own for something like 4 weeks. i was pulled today to another med/surg floor, and it was OK, albeit busy. i wasn't sure how the day would pan out considering the moment i walked on the floor, i was told one of my prospective patients had "expired". gee, that was welcoming.

i spent most of the day suctioning the trach of a man dying of throat cancer. many of us nurses have our Achilles heel. mine happens to be mucous. not just run of the mill,but copious, copious amounts, of putrid odoriferous mucous, shooting out of trach tubes. (oh, yes... it was.) it caught me off guard when i nearly had to grab his trash can while during said suctioning while his aunt looked on. he is the most emacicated, cachetic patients i've ever seen. his skin is like saran wrapping a skeleton. his thraot cancer has now spread to his lungs, yet the family holds out hope that he will go home with some help. i hate when i have to speak with family when they are still in such denial. he is a full code patient (meaning no DNR order) and truthfully, i doubt he will make it to monday.

i have had some colorful experiences thus far in my weeks. i am now unsure if i will ever end up in an ER somewhere. i've had my share of crazy right now. some days, i just want to transfer to the nursery and change diapers all day, at least the butts are smaller...